To many brain retrainers it seems obvious that we are capable of change. There are so many recovery and transformation stories of people who have done exactly that. And yet, it is not altogether uncommon for retrainers who are struggling to question whether change is possible for them. If you are someone who questions this, ask yourself, "Am I the same person that I was 20 or 30 years ago?" In all likelihood you're not, therefore change is possible even for you. Positive psychology shows us that even the things about ourselves we thought were unchangeable, like personality or intelligence, are very changeable. Epigenetics show us that the things we once thought were our destiny due to our genes are also changeable. There are in fact very few things that we cannot change.
So why is change so hard sometimes? What gets in the way? These questions take us back to the work of Dr. Candace Pert & Dr. Joe Dispenza. Candace Pert, author of the book "Molecules of Emotion" demonstrated that all of our emotions have a neurochemical signature with them. In other words we have specific neurochemicals that are released in our brains that correspond with each emotional state. So if we are happy, we have a different neurochemical cocktail releasing than if we are angry. Each neurochemical has a specific receptor in the neurons of our brain that take up that neurochemical. Due to neuroplasticity, if we release a lot of one neurochemical, over time our brains will adapt to create more receptor sites for that neurochemical. We get used to having certain feelings as our baseline of operating, and our brains adapt to accommodate that.
In his book, "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" Dr. Joe Dispenza teaches us that we can become neurochemically addicted to emotional states that are dominant in our brain. Our brains get used to feeling one way a lot, and when you try to change that, you are decreasing the neurochemicals associated with those emotional states and starving the receptor sites that are used to taking up those neurochemicals. Much like a drug addiction, the brain will go through withdrawl and try to get you back into thinking and feeling in the old ways to return to your old baseline. This is why Dr. Joe says, "In order to change we have to think greater than how we feel." If we allow our feelings to dictate our thoughts and actions, and if we return to entertaining those old feelings a lot, we will stay stuck or regress back to our old baseline. We can't change from that place. On the other hand, if we can recognize what is happening and commit to staying the course of entertaining the new feeling states regardless of what our brains are telling us, eventually the extra receptor sites for the old neurochemicals will prune away and we will grow new receptor sites for the postiive neurochemistry. So from a neurochemsitry standpoint, we want to start flooding our brains with the positive neurochemistry, and keep flooding it, along with thoughts & behaviours that support the new neurochemistry until our brains adapt. This is where positive past memories, strong future visualizations, positive mental rehearsal along with other simple emotional elevation practices throughout our day come into play (like gratitude, finding beauty in the people and environment around us, focusing on and savouring the positive moments, laughing, creating, being present in the moment, and so on).
It is important to recognize that, in order for change, we have to step outside of our comfort zone and go through a period of discomfort and transition. This means doing things that may be a bit difficult and changing our habitual ways of thinking & behaving repeatedly until this new way of being becomes our new normal. People often confuse the comfort zone with being comfortable. They may make comments like, "Well I am already uncomfortable so I am not in my comfort zone" as a justification to continue what they are already doing. Comfort zone simply refers to what your brain and nervous system are used to, comfort levels aside. Sometimes it is helpful to think of it as a habit zone rather than a comfort zone.
For change to occur, we need to step slightly beyond the edge of that zone into a zone of growth. If we try pushing too far into the growth zone it can backfire, so a key to change is finding that sweet spot of stretching yourself enough to engage the neuroplasticity in your brain and nervous system but not so far that you set off full alarm signals that make it harder to sustain change. It can feel "off" as we go through this period of transition because we are letting go of the old but haven't quite got to the new, hence the need to think greater than how you feel and not believe everything your brain is telling you. If we listen to the message of "something feels off" and we go back to doing what we were before because of that, we stop the change process.
It is equally important to combine the stretching outside of your habit zone with signals to your brain and nervous system that all is well. We do this through nervous system regulation tools, a feeling of self-empowerment or a connection to the essence of who we are beyond symptoms (or something greater than ourselves), and elevated emotion. Then after that, the key is repetition and not getting discouraged if we have setbacks. Retraining is not a linear process, it is going to involve ups and downs. Just like a child learning to walk, we keep picking ourselves up and keep doing it over and over until we get the hang of it. We don't beat ourselves up when we fall, we simply get back up and try again, recognizing that this is how we learn, grow and change. We let go of the old stories and start to rehearse new ones. It is through this process that we consciously create positive changes in our lives.
Best wishes!
Caelum's Insights (A Functional Neurology Perspective):
I want to talk a little bit about dopamine dumping. Today with social media and all the
constant stimulation many people fall victim to the “doom scrolling”. Unfortunately, there
are neuroscientists working with these social media companies to help design their
platforms to be as addicting as possible. This can be seen in the way we scroll through
the apps themselves. Vertical scrolling stimulates a part of the midbrain that causes a
release of dopamine. This is why all of the apps like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and
twitter utilize a vertical scroll to navigate their platform. They also show us flashy short
videos that catch our attention and often times also cause a dopamine dump. This also
has negative effects on the brain in the sense that when we are constantly being
stimulated for dopamine then the brain will not produce as much without these stimuli.
This often leads to that feeling of sadness or emptiness after hours of scrolling. It is
important that we limit our time on these to keep our brain well-regulated and not get
addicted to the dopamine rush, to really take a look at how much we might be using social media to elevate our emotions, and to consider other (more beneficial) alternatives.
If you have any questions you would like answered in this blog or to be added to my coaching waitlist, please email me at candy.thriving@gmail.com
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Candy Widdifield, M.Ed. candywiddifield.com candy.thriving@gmail.com
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