Recovery, healing & transformation are rarely simple linear processes of getting better and better. They involve ups and downs, ebbs & flows, successes and dips. This is normal and to be expected. In this blog we will look at contributing factors and how to best navigate these fluctuations.
Why do we have these ups and downs? There are a number of factors that contribute. The most common precursors to having dips are emotional stressors or difficult life events. These may be completely unrelated to our health. Our system doesn't differentiate one source of stress from another. When we briefly reflect back over what was happening prior to the dip, at times it can be really obvious what precipitated it. Other times, it's not and that's okay. We don't need to go digging or figure it out. One way to think about it is, we have the old neural pathways and neural chemistry along with the new (alternative) ones we are creating. When we are in the midst of the retraining process, the old and new pathways are competing for dominance. Sometimes we are in the new ones, feeling good and noticing postive shifts, and sometimes we are back in the old ones. Stressors & events can trigger us to jump tracks so to speak, back into the old pathways.
The second most common contributing factor to an ebb is when we move to a deeper layer or level in our rewiring. Deeper layers may have physical expressions (i.e. sensations/symptoms) that were common in previously layers. When we experience a symptom that we haven't had in a while, one that we thought had gone away and yet here we are experiencing it again, it can lead us to believe we are going backwards. That is not the case. We are actually moving further into the healing process. These types of dips can often bring up anger and frustration because they usually show up right after things have been going fairly well. In these cases it can be easy to get sucked into unhelpful thinking about "being back here again", "I thought I was past this", and "Is this ever going to change/end?" If we can recognize that we are actually working at a deeper level instead of going backwards, and that even though things are hard right now it is really a sign of progress, it helps us let go of this unhelpful thinking. If your mind is questioning whether this really is a step forward, remind yourself that whether it is or it isn't, entertaining these thought patterns are not going to help you. So either way, we want to change our thinking and perspective. Either way, it is a neuroplastic opportunity for us.
The final contributing factor to dips (from my experience) is when we start to make positive changes and run up against parts of ourselves that have old habitual (protective) patterns. These parts can sometimes deem the positive changes we are making as unsafe based on outdated information and past experiences, usually from childhood. It triggers stress in our system that then translates into upheaval and feeling like we are going backwards.
Regardless of what triggers the dip, the first thing to keep in mind is that you have not lost all of your positive progress or the healthy foundations you have built in your brain and nervous system. Like the clouds covering the sun, the sun is still there. You just can't see it at the moment because there are things in the way. Same with the healthy foundations. They don't disappear overnight, and as long as we continue to engage in ways that feed the alternative pathways and neurochemistry, we will regain our previous progress and continue to progress further.
The second piece to keep in mind is, the more you can accept what is currently happening the more energy you free up to put towards what will be helpful to you. Everything is temporary, including your current experience. What we resist persists and if we are overfocused on and fighting against where we are, we are using up a lot of resources that could be helping us make a postivie shift. So instead of fighting what is, ask yourself "What would be helpful or supportive for me to do (or focus on) in this moment? And moment by moment keep showing up for yourself and applying your tools with self-compassion, (this may include using rounds of practice, meditations, useful distractions, letting go of what is, elevating your emotional state, visualizing wellbeing, connecting with your parts, and so on).
It is also helpful to connect to the supports avaialble to you, both inner and outer, and to know that you are not alone in this journey. There are loved ones, pets, retraining communities, nature, the collective consciousness, the divine or universal energy all available to support you. We may not feel like we have all of these things but every one of us has something. Even in this very moment, you could think about and intend to connect to all the people in the world that are engaging in brain retraining or nervous system regulation practices. Or all the people in the world who are experiencing a challenge but are determined and committed and choosing to keep no matter what. You could intend to connect with all the people that are engaging in personal growth, meditating, or visualizing as you engage in those practices yourself. These connection practices can help you feel that you are part of a collective even when others may not be in the same physical place as you. We are all part of the same human family, and when we recall this it can help us settle the nervous system, bettter regulate ourselves, and give us a boost to keep going.
Downtimes happen, they come and go and the more detached we can be from them, trusting they are temporary and using the tools needed to help support us, the sooner they will pass. Over time, dips typically become less intense and less frequent. As we overcome them it builds our confidence that we have what we need to navigate and be successful.
Best wishes!
Caelum's Insights (A Functional Neurology Perspective):
Our body is impressively good at adapting. This is a really good thing; without it we
could not survive. It can however affect us in negative ways. For example, if someone
is having trouble sleeping and takes melatonin, it helps them sleep and no adaptation is
made. In contrast if someone is taking copious amounts of melatonin on a regular basis
for a long time the body will adapt to this, reading the levels of melatonin in the body
from the supplements and reducing the amount produced naturally. This then becomes a
problem. If the person stops taking melatonin their body will not produce enough and
they will struggle to sleep for a long time until it starts to make its own again. It is
important to keep this in mind when we are exposing ourselves to things on a regular
basis. Coffee (unfortunately) has a similar affect. Those who are chronic coffee drinkers
and have multiple a day will struggle to function without that added stimulation. Due to
this, moderation is key! You can still take melatonin on nights you struggle to sleep or
drink coffee, just make sure you take breaks from it as well.
If you have any questions you would like answered in this blog or to be added to my coaching waitlist, please email me at candy.thriving@gmail.com
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Candy Widdifield, M.Ed. candywiddifield.com candy.thriving@gmail.com
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